Dealing With Special Days - Grief's Journey

In this section we will endeavor to provide you with ideas for adapting new traditions, encouragement to continue old traditions, and guidance to help you get through holidays and other days of significance. Please visit our Audio/Video Media page for additional resources on the topic of dealing with the holidays.

The listing of this information should not be considered an endorsement by Grief's Journey.

After a loss or tragedy: Coping With the Reminders, this September 21, 2004 article from the Mayo Clinic offers strategies for dealing with days of significance after your loss - from birthdays to encountering milestones to wedding anniversaries. © 2001 Planetree, Inc. All rights reserved.

Anticipatory Grief and Holidays: 12 Survival Tips by Harriet Hodgson, © 2005. From the article, "Anticipatory grief - a feeling of loss before a death or dreaded event occurs - is a hard journey. Holidays make it even harder. At a time when you're supposed to feel happy and joyful, you feel sad and anxious. You're on pins and needles and wonder what will happen next."

Coping With the Holidays offers a rather extensive listing of articles relating to copying with and managing the holidays as provided by the Grief Healing web site.

Getting Through the Holidays by Martha M. Tousley, offers help to get through the holidays. "Perhaps there is no time of the year when we're more aware of the empty space our dear one has left behind than during the holiday season. Holidays can create feelings of dread and anxiety in those who are bereaved."

Grief and the Holidays is a listing of several articles dealing with the holidays, from grief andrenewal.com. Included in the list is the article, Valentine's Day Blues and Other Colors, by Laura Slap-Shelton, Psy.D.

Grief and the Holidays: Coping on Your Own Terms, this November 12, 2003 article from the Mayo Clinic discusses the pros and cons of several approaches to dealing with the holidays. © 2001 Planetree, Inc. All rights reserved.

Grief Song, Healing the Loss with Paul Alexander, offers four articles on coping with grief during the holidays.

Help for the Holidays, from The Dougy Center, offers suggestions to help you help your children (as well as yourself) cope with and manage grief during the holidays.

Help Helping Yourself Heal During the Holiday Season by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. From the article, "Holidays are often difficult for anyone who has experienced the death of someone loved. Rather than being times of family togetherness, sharing and thanksgiving, holidays can bring feelings of sadness, loss and emptiness."

Holiday Candle Ceremony, submitted by Branch. This contribution is for those looking for something, a tool, anything that possibly may be instrumental in helping one get through the holiday season, or possibly a way in which one can have his or her spouse remain a part of the ceremony of the season.

How to Survive the Holidays by Sandy Lipkus, B.Ed; M.S.W. Grief Counsellor, ShareGrief.com. An article offering insight and tips for surviving the holidays.

It Won't Be the Same This Year by Dr. Linda E. Jordan. Dr. Jordan says, "Rituals, by definition, are observances, habits, or ceremonies that we create in order to take care of ourselves. Rituals serve as an expression of the values and relationships that we hold most precious. Grief can be acute around holidays and special occasions because most often friends and family gather at these times, and the absence of the deceased can be very present. For bereaved persons, it is important to acknowledge up front that it won’t be the same this year. Things are not the same. Someone pivotal in our lives is gone. Moreover, we are not the same persons. Death forever changes the self we were before. Therefore, we cannot expect to "buck up" and act as if nothing has changed. Everything has changed."

Dr. Jordan suggests "that there are ways, not only to survive special days, but also to make them, in fact, meaningful in a different way. The key to doing this is found in the word RITUAL."

Kids and Christmas by Lynn Crowder. An article offering guidance to help you help yourself and your children get through the Christmas holiday.

Surviving the Holidays and Other Significant Events After a Loved One's Death by Mary M. Wong. Holidays and other significant events, after someone close has died, can bring increased anxiety and stress and survivors are often uncertain how best to hand specific situations. Do I keep the same traditions or create new ones? What can I expect on the anniversary of my loved one’s death? How do I handle that wedding invitation when I feel so badly? These are just some of the topics discussed within this audiotape in addition to Christmas invitations, decorations, shopping, gift giving, meals, etc. She also provides practical, effective alternatives to current traditions in an effort to provoke your thinking to reach more appealing solutions. She discusses how to effectively handle New Year’s, their birthday, the anniversary of their death, weddings, graduations, the birth of a new baby into the family and much more. If you are feeling anxious about any of these upcoming events, this tape is for you. (90 minute audio tape)

With The Holidays (any special occasion) Can Come Renewed Grieving is a December 2002 article from the American Cancer Society. The article enforces that any special occasion can actually and very really give cause for grief to be renewed. Descriptons of the "phases" of grief are detailed and suggestions for "finding your way" are offered.

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Created on 09/16/2005 07:39 PM by John
Updated on 01/02/2007 12:09 PM by Branch